Parenting 101

So today I realized that we may have some parenting knowledge.  You know, you will go on doing something, gain experience/knowledge, and at some point be called upon to use it.  Then you realize-"I actually know what I am talking about!"
Well in the world of parenting you never really feel like you know what you are doing.  You make decisions on the spot and react to life as it comes.  And for us, most of the time, you second guess what you are implementing or asking your kids to expect as normal.
Today some close friends who just had a beautiful baby recently wrote us and asked for some help.  And as we read their email it was like reliving those same feelings and emotions.  Confused, lying in the bed hearing our first born cry, and asking each other, "Are we bad parents?"  I do not really wonder if every parent has asked that.  I, at this point, assume that they all have.
But the beautiful, and reassuring thing was that we immediately knew how we would respond.  And to me that is Parenting 101.
In life there are equations, linear thoughts, and rational explanations to outcomes, but that is not the parenting world.  Knowing you are good parents is when Mom and Dad respond with a unified front to a problem.  How you get to the response is usually not unified.  It will take discussion, thinking ahead, questioning, discussion, comments on each others parents, heated discussion, throwing your hands in the air, more discussion, and coming together with a plan/response.  We are a unified front.
I know that no matter how it turns out that I have my wife to support me, and vice versa.  So often the kids seem to pit parent against parent.  When they are babies it is not intentional.  You are actually fighting different family experiences and upbringing.  As the kids get older, they actually do pit you against each other.
I remember asking my mom for something when I was younger and not getting the response I wanted, so then I would go to the softie of the family and ask the same question.  I was not prepared for what would happen next.  My dad asked, "What did your mother say?"  I said, "She said no."  Then he responded in an amazing way, "If your mom said no, then it is no."
In my house, the parents were united.  There will never be a day when I can pit my mom against my dad.  We have been through some rough stuff and even when it was at its worst, I knew that if it came down to it, they would still be there for each other.
It is my hope that my three kids know us to be those same types of parents.  There is no way my wife and I will agree on most things-I think that is the beauty of love and marriage.  But when we have to work together, make a decision, and follow through with consistency, there is no stopping us.
So, there it is.  Parenting 101.  The marital relationship is key to parenting.  It may sound obvious, but it is true.  It does not matter if you feed your baby every time it cries, or if you let your baby cry itself to sleep.  It does not matter if you let your kids eat candy or teach them to chant "Sugar is Bad, Sugar is Bad!"  What matters is the oneness that supports the two married people called Mommy and Daddy.