Its about You

Have you ever been wronged?  Of course.  That type of rhetorical question is a bit ridiculous.  The real question is, What do you do when you get wronged?  Are you a quick to action, hot tempered bloke?  Do you scream and yell, or are you quiet while you store your frustrations deep down for them to come out in an unhealthy place on an unsuspecting loved one?  Either way, the myriad of responses that fall on the arc of reaction to others, and the competency of others to let you down or hurt you will always need to be dealt with at some time.  

I think it is amazing how any reaction, big and loud or quiet and bottled up, does not make me feel any better.  Those responses always elicit an opportunity for me to bring back the memory of the moment and either feel guilty for how I hurt the person, enjoy the interaction in a glorified way,  or that I did not let my own feelings have their say.  

What I do find is that if I spend the time necessary, about a nano second, to recognize that whatever the situation, and no matter what someone does to me.  It is my job to forgive.  

Forgive.  What a word.  It is the spoon full of sugar and the medicine that goes down.  It seems to always do the job.  I never give it the opportunity to be the first response, but when it finally wins out in the battle of reactions/reality/emotions/and thoughts.  It has always been the avenue for success in my relationships.

I am a Christ Follower and have an affinity for this response.  For me there is no other real option.  In the end I have to get to this place of forgiveness.  If I do not then I am living out what Craig Groeschel calls, "Practical Atheism."  The outward response that aligns with a disbelief in God, as apposed to an outward response that follows the teachings and life of Jesus Christ.  

I have had some big life experiences.  Some of them were experienced as a victim in my youth and others have happened all throughout my life.  It was not until my late 20's that I recognized this fact.  The fact of responding with grace, something I will talk about more, and forgiveness is ultimately saying that God does matter to me.

It is hard to respond in grace and forgiveness.  It is hard to forgive someone daily.  It is hard to even give it the fighting chance to be the response in a fight.  It is easy to receive.  That is what does it for me.  It is so easy to receive.  When I ask for it from my wife, friends, family, and others it is what I want most, in that moment and in life.  I want to know that love does not come with eternal strings attached, and that I will not have to "pay" for my mistake for years to come.  It is what I want because I want the people I have hurt to look past the wrong/bad/sinful side of me, and see that I am worthy of their love and attention.  

And that is why I am talking about it today.  If it is this deep inside of me, then it has to be something everyone else wants.  Through my faith I have been forgiven and have been granted a relationship with the God of the Universe.  For me that is mind blowing.  For me that is weird to write.  For me that is so easy to receive.  

For others forgiveness is not easy to receive and almost impossible to give away.  And that is okay.  I am still working on this, and by no means am I great at it.  There will be a day when forgiving will be easier than fighting.  There will be a day when laying down your frustration and grudges will be easier than placing them on your shoulder.  There will be a day when you want forgiveness so bad and you will not get it.  On that day I believe you will realize that forgiveness is not about the other person, but about you.  You will realize that you need to forgive for your own self, for your own ability to love.  

And then you will experience it.